Image by: kaboompics
By Alvin Martin
When I was younger, I was easily attracted to women who liked to play hard to get. Back then, I didn’t know why I seemed to get turned on with someone who ignored me, treated me bad and made me feel like I was nothing – you, know girls who are just plain crazy.
Perhaps, I loved the challenge, or maybe I just thought that I could change them. And when I finally tamed them and made everything right, I would start to get bored, not care as much, and lose my interest in the relationship.
For years, I lived in this kind of unreasonable, unhealthy and harmful pattern. Same type of women, just different faces. Until one day, I just got tired of going after someone just to validate my self worth. I also started to feel guilty about all those women I’d hurt in the past, for making them believe that I could be trusted and capable of loving them forever.
So, I took a break from dating and stayed single to prove to myself that I could determine my own worth. At first, it was hard to ignore the temptation, but eventually, I got used to it. I survived without chasing and hurting anyone. And most importantly, I learned to love myself.
It was a liberating experience. It made me open my eyes to a kind of love that I was unfamiliar to before, a love that is kind, appreciating and enduring.
Guys, you can increase your luck in dating or in finding the one by approaching your life differently. Here are some things that you can change to invite true and lasting love to come your way.
You’ve Changed Your Perspective on Being Single
You’re alone, but not lonely, and you’re totally okay with it. If in the past you saw being in a bad relationship as better than being single, now, you are finally aware that you have to fulfill your own life’s needs and know who you are first before you can build a healthy relationship with someone.
According to Susan Elliott, adopting positive singletude is one of the keys to getting into relationship where misery is not the end result. Learn how your life can mean something and make yourself matter to the world so that you won’t sell yourself short and settle for anything less than you deserve.
You’re Ready to Compromise
You’re open to change. You’re willing to adjust your attitude when necessary.
In the piece “The Key to a Happy, Healthy Relationship With Your Customers,” writer David Royce talks about the importance of creating flexibility and embracing change in developing a strong and lasting relationship with your partners as well as your customers.
In my opinion, you’re ready to love someone when going out of your way to make your partner feel special is not a problem and when you’re willing to work with your partner to overcome your differences to keep each other happy and your relationship growing.
You Want to Become a Better Person
You’re ready for love when you feel the need to continue to grow as a person and make the most of yourself. You want to become more successful, healthier and a better version of you because you’ve finally figured out that finding the one is not just about accepting love, but also being capable of giving it. And you understand that you will never be able to give love when you’re incomplete.
Because part of being whole is being in better health and really caring about your body, writer Markham Heid suggests doing this 30-Second Stretch every morning. This exercise will help you lubricate the joints and muscles on your upper back, hips, shoulders and areas that get tight especially when you spend a lot of time sitting all day.
You’re Being True to Yourself
Being true to yourself is not that easy because of the painful and traumatic experiences that you may have incurred in the past. It can even cause you to suppress your emotions and pretend to be someone you’re not to guard your heart. But this is where the problem comes in because when you choose not to show the real you, you won’t be genuinely happy and you can’t also expect someone to stick with you no matter what.
Being your authentic self is essential in attracting people who will accept you and love you for who you are. You have to honor and treasure yourself with all your wounds, mistakes, failures and imperfections regardless of society’s standards, that you have to be this and you have to be that. Realize that your flaws and inadequacies make you unique and interesting.
To become the real you, you should open yourself to change, be honest with your feelings and not allow others to make you a doormat with their demands and expectations. In return, you will have the things you need to find true love. You will become more connected with yourself. You will gain respect and you can expect others to respond to you in an honest way.