Image by: laterjay
By James Reubin
Three years ago, I decided to leave my home country to begin a new chapter of my life. At first, I found the idea thrilling; living in a place with a totally different culture and mixture of races. I didn’t know that it was going to be incredibly challenging.
After a few months, I started to see everything differently and I felt bored that my life was moving too slow. In short, I was homesick.
All of a sudden, everything around me seemed so unfamiliar. I felt disconnected from the people’s ways, their choice of music, food, the way they live their lives and the way they behave.
I felt lonely and that I didn’t belong.
“Fitting in” is a state of mind. It’s an illusion that stops us from enjoying life’s experiences.
It was seriously difficult adjusting to my new environment. I couldn’t easily absorb the things that were happening around me, which put me in a state of “culture shock.”
I rejected everything and just shied away from everyone.
It wasn’t until I met a few good people who eventually became my close friends that I started to see things in a more positive light.
If we choose to look at society from a negative perspective, we will see differences. On the other hand, if we decide to use a positive mind, we will see connection and similarities.
I realized that the reason I felt disconnected was not because of the new environment, but because of my way of thinking and my failure to try and be a part of something I wasn’t.
We all experience “feeling alienated” at one point in our lives. We feel lost and we even start to question who we are and why we’re here.
What we fail to understand is that we are always continuously changing and growing.
To help you address your feeling of being “different” and face the world with more confidence, here are some things for you to ponder about and seriously consider applying in your life.
In “7 Mistakes Anxious People Make in Relationships,” Lea Rose Emery talks about the negative effects of overthinking, how it can lead to self-destruction and how it breeds unnecessary heartaches.
Worrying too much, taking everything personally and jumping into conclusions are some of the behaviors that can destroy your relationships.
Shift your focus into something productive instead of fixating yourself on compulsive thoughts.
Stress is a reality of life and it can be suffocating. That’s why we need to learn how take pause, breathe and channel our energy in observing healthy habits.
Todd McCullough shares his secrets to staying fit even when it seems impossible.
As a personal trainer, he believes that consistent workouts, even if it’s just 7-20 minutes a day and eating clean are the keys to staying fit.
Doing good things for your body pays off for your mind as well.
It boosts your energy, improves your mood, decreases stress, increases your ability to think better and makes you feel happier.
Another way to be mentally strong is to develop an effective routine like this – “8 Things You Should Do Every Day Before 8AM to be More Productive.”
One of writer Benjamin Hardy’s suggestions is to not check your emails or social media as soon as you wake up because it puts your mind on a “reactive” state instead of being “proactive.”
I completely agree with him. I find myself doing this every morning and I now realize how it consumes my time and energy and how it distracts me from doing what I’m supposed to do.
Instead of checking social media, he recommends taking 5-15 minutes of our time meditating or expressing gratitude for the day.
Creating a healthy routine can change your days and eventually your whole life for the better.
Another sensitive issue that bothers most of us men, and makes us feel withdrawn all the time, is our size.
Check this out – “How Do You Measure Up Down There?”
This piece provides a detailed description of various penis types and provides the best sexual positions for every size, including what women really think about it.
You spend a lot of time being so conscious about your size when in actuality, it’s not really as important as you think. Bigger doesn’t necessarily mean better.
It’s all about finding the right fit with your partner. What she feels and thinks are more important than what our culture dictates.
We all experience feeling alienated and indifferent to some degree.
We are all the same when it comes to having inhibitions, imperfections and personal struggles. In order to gain clarity, you have to understand the groundwork on which you build your life, which is your perception of yourself.
When you learn to have faith in yourself, you’ll realize your value, you’ll be able to handle change, you’ll improve your relationships and you’ll live a better life.