By Richard K. Noots
As usual, cops always have to flex their muscles. Just ask the citizens of Denver, Colorado. It turns out that the fascist state government is implementing a new way of promoting good behavior: by rewarding it. This is laughable! Everyone knows you can’t pat the backs of people and expect them to do good things. Soon, everyone will expect rewards for good behavior and then no one will want to do anything without one. This in turn will cause a world of lazy charlatans who won’t do anything unless they’re given something for it!