Image by: blueMix
By Dave Andrews
My friend Rodney has problems saying NO. He likes pleasing people and truly hates disappointing them; so much so that it’s a fault of his. He is also very generous in lending money to his friends and relatives to the point of not thinking about his own needs.
Last month, I heard from a common friend that Rodney got really sick and was in the hospital for two weeks. Though he’s doing well now, his misery hasn’t ended quite yet because he still needs to settle a couple of loans that he had to take out to pay his medical bills.
I know that Rodney will eventually get through all his finances because he’s got a good-paying job. However, for me, that’s not the issue. I think that he should learn to set boundaries and be a little selfish sometimes to make sure that these kinds of events don’t happen again to him.
To help you avoid unconsciously sabotaging your chance at happiness, I’ve outlined 4 habits that can screw up your life.
Giving Your Time & Energy to Non-Essential Things
One way to destroy your future and your life is to waste your time and energy on things that don’t actually matter, such as events that you can’t control, opinions of other people, your baseless worries, your ridiculous expectations, your regrets, pleasing others and so much more. Instead of dwelling on these negative thoughts and letting them weaken you, it’s best to cut the irrelevant stuff out of your life and invest in learning.
In business, for instance, what sets the best salespeople apart from those who are struggling to make it is their wise use of their time. Instead of dwelling on their past mistakes, they choose not to stop learning and invest their time, increasing their ability to make and close the sale.
To help you develop habits that will help you become a better salesperson – check this out “6 Things Sales Professionals Should Never Do.”
Bottling Up Your Thoughts & Feelings
Trying to bury your emotions and pretending to be okay when you’re not could damage your self-esteem and cause you a lot of unnecessary tension, stress and anguish. It’s beating yourself up further inside, and it could only end with you crying and feeling sorry for yourself.
Also, suppressing your emotions is temporary. It could only delay a potential blow up for a certain period of time, but it will eventually overflow out of the bottle. When that happens, the effects will be worse because you won’t just be putting yourself in a bad position, but also those other innocent bystanders around you who don’t deserve to be at risk when you finally reach your boiling point.
In relationships, for example, people who put barriers in love tend to have a difficult time in finding the right person in their life. They can’t see the real picture in front of them because they are not being honest with themselves, they’re too scared to open up and be vulnerable. So, if you want your relationship to last, speak the truth when you have the chance, say “I love you” whenever you like, appreciate your partner’s presence in your life and apologize sincerely to make things right.
Guys, sharing your feelings and emotions is not only essential to your health and well-being but to your happiness as well. So, never hold back, voice out your thoughts and avoid lifelong regrets by staying true to yourself and being comfortable with giving your full commitment in your relationship and love with all your heart.
Ignoring Your Body & Destroying Your Health
This item is self-explanatory. You know what happens when you neglect your health. Guys, you only get one body in this life, so take care of it and don’t wait for it to fall apart before you start to realize its importance.
To give your body the attention it deserves, writer Daniel Anderson suggests investing in some consideration and accountability:
• Outline your lifestyle changes to clearly track and monitor your compliance and commitment to your plans.
• Know the right foods to eat and which to eliminate.
• Avoid processed package meals.
• Accept that losing weight is a long-term battle, so just take your time and avoid beating yourself up.
Carrying Emotional Wounds
Emotional wounds can sabotage your opportunities, happiness and success. It leaves a hole in your heart causing you to feel sad, scared, ashamed and helpless. To heal these wounds, you can seek professional help or you can choose to pursue forgiveness.
According to writer Milan Karmeli, to forgive means to acknowledge that you have no control over life and that you are just a human being who has a limited ability to grasp reality. By putting yourself into a place of humility and voicing your regret, you can overcome guilt and shame, manage your life better and wake up to a wider reality.
Guys, if you’re really serious in creating the future that you want, you have to start today. You have to work on uprooting these bad habits and change them as efficiently as possible.