Image by: Unsplash
By Anthony Juan
I met my first love, Maddie, in kindergarten. Oh, it wasn’t love yet at the time. I just had a little crush on her because of her Arithmatic skills and an amazing ability to dominate the hula hoop.
Being one of the brightest students in our school, Maddie wasn’t very friendly, but she would always protect me from all the bullies in our class. Because of that she and I became best friends. We would always eat lunch together, choose each other as dance partners every time we had to perform in class and sit on the bus together whenever we had our annual school field trips.
I thought we were inseparable, until my mom decided to take our whole family to live here in the U.S. and stay here for good. My heart was broken into pieces when I said goodbye to Maddie during our grade school graduation.
After 15 years of zero communication, I found her on Facebook. She already had two kids but wasn’t married yet. Also, I found out that she just ended an 8-year relationship with the father of her kids. I thought that was my chance, so I decided to come back and meet her.
Seeing her again awakened some old feelings that have always been there ever since we were little kids. Only they were a little different, because for the first time I became sure that I was really in love with her.
I invited her to go on an island vacation with me. I was planning to propose to her on our last dinner but all of a sudden, I got scared. “What if she says no, what’s going to happen to our friendship after?” So I backed out.
When we flew back to the U.S. we kept up our communication. We talked on the phone almost every single day for about a year. Until one day, I stopped. I didn’t know why.
Two years later, I went back for her and finally had the courage to tell her my feelings but before I could open my mouth, she told me she was getting married. She told me she waited for me but thought that I never had any feelings for her. I wanted to tell her that she was wrong but I didn’t want to ruin her plans.
It took me years to finally let go of the thought of us being together. I started dating other women and checked her Facebook less often. Letting go of Maddie or accepting the fact we would never grow old together wasn’t easy. But I think it was the healthiest choice I had.
Guys, if you’re in a similar situation, here are some strategies that can help you move on, get real results and make real progress as you go through life.
Don’t be Afraid to Let Go
Holding on is not always what makes you stronger, sometimes, it’s having the courage to walk away from people and things that do not serve any positive purpose in your life.
According to writer Joseph Summers, when holding on is tearing you apart and dragging you down, it’s time to cut ties and learn to break some relationships even when you feel deeply sorry.
In my opinion, some relationships cannot be fixed or reconciled, and some people are not meant to stay in your life. So, be brave and let go gracefully.
Life is full of hard choices and the more options you have, the harder it gets to make the right decision. Most people would normally pick the easiest path or the one that could provide immediate convenience or pleasure.
However, the key to making the right choice is by analyzing its outcome. Instead of focusing on immediate consequences, you should try to think long term and consider investing for the future.
For instance, if you want to retire early and just enjoy life, you need to learn to sacrifice your simple pleasures to gain something better in the long run.
Writer Trent Hamm suggests using these strategies for better financial self-control.
Focus on Doing the Right Things
Focusing on the unimportant things or not knowing how to prioritize will not bring you any significant progress or accomplishments. To be able to achieve your target results, it is imperative that you spend your attention and resources purposefully and productively.
And to help you get your day started off on the right foot, check this out – “6 of the Worst Things You Can do Each Morning.”
Writer Sam Becker shares specific ways on how you can build your momentum and set yourself up for success for the rest of the day.
Learn to Take Risks
Nothing worthwhile in life is ever easy. If you’re always scared to take chances and if you always avoid doing inconvenient work, you will miss out on so many great opportunities that this world has to offer guys.
Challenging yourself to do something risky and getting out of your comfort zone allows you to learn new things, widen your perspective and grow as a person.
In the piece “10 Ways to Move Through Your Subconscious Fears,” writer Panache Desai explains how fear paralyzes your evolution.
Fear becomes a big problem only when you allow it to overwhelm you. You can overcome it by exercising your ability to create the life that you want, learning how to commit to your goals and challenging your self-created boundaries and limitations.