Image by: jeffjuit
By Alvin Martin
When a friend asks you if you’re okay, how many times have you ever said “I’m fine” even when deep inside the pain is actually killing you?
Five years ago, I was like that, I didn’t want others to think that I was overreacting, I didn’t want them to think that I was full of drama and I didn’t believe that my feelings mattered.
My best friend Beth was the only one I trusted with my real feelings so I made her my official “shock absorber.” Every time I was hurt or I had something to say about something or someone, she was my go-to person.
Until one day, while I was trying to vent out my anger and frustration, she reacted in a way I never expected.
Instead of trying to calm me down, she got mad and confronted me by saying that she couldn’t handle me anymore. She had enough of my problems, she had her own issues too and that she no longer wanted to listen to my crap.
I was speechless because I never saw her like that before. She made it clear though that it wasn’t the end of our friendship. She wanted me to start taking charge of my life.
If you want to improve your current situation, you have to be willing to trim the ugly and be determined in removing the unnecessary.
I was hurt. She knew I needed her and that I didn’t have anyone else to talk to. For years, I’ve depended on her strength.
“Depended.” This word kept playing on my mind for hours. Then I realized how unfair it was for me to rely on her, for dumping all my anger on, and for not thinking about the effects of my personal troubles on her.
My friendship is more important than all of my issues so I decided to face my problem and win her back.
I started by taking myself seriously and not letting other people treat me without respect. I began doing things that I never did before like learning how to say “no” and “it’s not okay.”
After that, I felt a big alteration in my life. Things became easier and manageable. It also gave me the power to take control of a situation especially if it involves my feelings and my personal space.
We can choose to live a colorful life or we can decide to be stuck in a nightmare of endless struggles.
We have the power to turn our lives into a beautiful and meaningful journey. However, we need to learn to let go of our bad habits and avoid doing certain things that hold us back from growing and from becoming the best version of ourselves.
“11 Pieces of Relationship Advice We Learned From Pope Francis” summarizes and highlights the most inspiring relationship advice from “The Joy of Love,” a written document containing a more welcoming and less judgmental message to single parents, gay people and unmarried couples who are living together.
It has beautiful lessons of love, respect, compromise and so much more. One thing I’ve learned from it is this:
Avoid using people and treating them as tools at your disposal and objects to exploit.
Narcissism is a disease that paralyzes people from looking beyond themselves and being considerate of other people’s needs. Get rid of it or else you’ll soon get discarded by this same mindset.
Stay away from negative people as they could impact your value as a person.
According to Kathleen Elkins, friendships could have a major impact on a person’s net worth, that’s why successful people avoid pessimists.
Be careful on who you frequently associate yourself with because you’re giving them the power to affect your life, either positively or in a limiting manner.
Refrain from taking yourself for granted.
Have you ever given yourself a pat on the back for accomplishing something? Have you ever tried appreciating your own beauty?
If not, this should serve as your wake-up call. Stop neglecting yourself and start appreciating your decisions, your choices and even your own failures.
Never fail to look after your health by being conscious about your diet, your body and your skin.
And to help you have a clear, glowing skin, check out this hormone expert’s advice.
Never get stuck on your negative and obsessive thoughts.
Don’t jeopardize your growth by entertaining toxic thoughts that could poison all aspects of your life. Instead, try to fix it by cleansing your body and soul.
This piece from Collective Evolution, titled “Doctors Explains How Hiking Actually Changes Our Brains,” helps us snap out of negative energy and change our brain for the better.
The time we spend outdoors provides an instant feeling of calm and contentment that can reduce depression and anxiety, boost creative problem solving and brainpower and improves our focus.
In order to have peace of mind and be happy, it is essential to learn to let go and get rid of things that stop you from living the life that you deserve.
I did it and I know you can, too.