By Richard K. Noots
A new Genetically Modified Monstrosity is being purposed around colleges everywhere. It’s supposedly able to give forty different kinds of fruit (Which is 32 more than I thought existed) by splicing tree limbs together. Now, I don’t know what Mengele of Botany approved this disgusting slight against God, but the tree is as beautiful as it is filled with sin. This is completely unnatural in every shape and fashion. A tree like this could not and would not exist in the world with help from the devil.
So, do your part and boycott this Demon Tree!