3 Tips For All You Commitment-Phobic Guys Out There

commitment
Image by: By Eschipul
By Kenny G. Thompson

Every guy is afraid of commitment. I don’t care who you are. We all have those thoughts, feelings and doubts from time to time that make us wonder if we’re doing the right thing. Especially when another beautiful woman looks our way. We can’t help but wonder what … certain acts would be like with them. Plus, there’s the whole spending the rest of your life with someone-thing that makes committing a little harder than what sitcoms portray.

As always, Danjur is here to help. Whether you’ve been in a relationship for years, or you just think you might be a guy who suffers from this very thing, you’ve come to the right place. The most important thing to remember however, is that you should always be happy with just being alone. You can’t be happy with someone else if you aren’t happy by yourself.

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#1) How often has this come up before?

It’s time to reevaluate your relationships. Take a deep look into your past and think about all the relationships you ever had. Think about why you were together, what you didn’t like, and why you two broke up in the first place. Don’t be biased, look at the relationship from both sides. Sometimes we all can be jerks, but there is no reason to lie to yourself. This is self-evaluation time!

So, have you noticed any repeating patterns? Have you always ended the relationship? Or have you always been on the search for something better? Chances are if more than half of your break-ups are one of these two reasons (or others that are similar), you might have a bit of a commit problem. People always have a tendency to look at the other side of the fence, but often it can destroy the real thing that’s absolutely amazing and sitting right in front of us.

#2) Keep Your Eye on The Prize

Look, let’s be honest here. All men really want is good sex with significant other we find reasonably attractive, and someone who we can talk to. For all the Clint Eastwood movies we may have seen, men are more often more emotional than women. So, if you’ve finally found someone who actually can tolerate you for you, and maybe even enjoys being around you, that could be something that you shouldn’t give up on. At least not yet.

If you find that your thoughts are beginning to wander, try to think about what you really want out of a relationship. Then, think if those things you want match what you already have. If they do, you could be on to something. If you’ve already found someone who doesn’t mind your crazy bedtime rituals and converses with you better than most friends, the relationship you’re in could be worth a second look. Often times, that second look can turn into many more looks, for many years.

#3) Should you fold ’em?

If after all that, you still think the relationship isn’t what you’re looking for, it’s good to know when to call it quits. Commitment is more than just being serious with another person, it’s about being serious with yourself. Plus, if you’re having consistent doubts in the long run, it would be wise to discuss things with your paramour, as opposed to being here. Of course, if you have a partner in which you can speak frankly with the relationship you’re in, you’ve already got a good one.

All in all, it pays to be patient. Don’t throw your girl away for stupid fears that your brain does because of an urge to breed. Many people sit lonely in their apartments, unable to find love. While in the end that’s their fault, you should still cherish what you have. Plus, what’s another year of your time? Especially if the sex is worth it.

4 Comments

  1. Roger9 says:

    I’m glad I found my wife, she actually puts up with my quirks and annoying behavior. I’m still very much attracted to her after all our years together. I guess I’m not what you call phobic when it comes to long term relationship.

  2. Cowboy722 says:

    I hear you, Roger. In fact, I think I’m the opposite of commitment-phobic. I had a few flings along the way, but most of my relationships before I met my wife were long term.

  3. Adamly says:

    I wasn’t a fan of commitment when I was in my 20s, but when I turned 30 something changed and I realized how nice it is to be in a relationship with someone who really knows me. The perks are there if you look for them.

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